About Me

Rob Pincombe is a prolific television writer, recovering comedian and sometime comic artist/storyboard artist who just wasn't satisfied with a single blog. He writes about sci-fi and fandom at rebelalert.com, Canadian comics at comicanuck.com, and shares thoughts and insights on writing at starkravingadventure.com

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Become A Sith Lord


Welcome to the rebellion. And now a word from our rebel sponsor...


"THE POWER WITHOUT"

EMPEROR TONY PALPATINE’S
7-STEPS TO PERSONAL,
ALL CONSUMING POWER!


Now there is "A New Hope" for all those who thought the Force had passed them by. Experience THE POWER WITHOUT; a powerful, 7-day program, in which best-selling intergalactic author and dictator, Emperor Tony Palpatine provides you with the cutting edge tools for not merely changing, but revolutionizing every area of your life… forever!

This is your exclusive opportunity to master the lives of yourself and those around you by using the same disturbing, underhanded transformational tools used by the Emperor himself. We guarantee the results will strike like bolts of electricity.


BOOST YOUR MIDI-CHLORIAN COUNT BY STEALING THEM FROM OTHERS.


The former Darth Sidious has distilled profound knowledge from the finest evil mentors in the universe (by squeezing out their brain juices and studying it with very, um, technical equipment before drinking it down in a revitalizing shake). And now he’s ready to share them with you!

His findings will be presented via live, facilitated holo-video with Imperial facilitators available to compel all in attendance to get the Emperor’s message.

(*For the story accompanying this Chris Jackson/Getty Image
go to www.abc.net )

YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO:

· Maximize your energy and restore your body to a state of pristine health and vitality by having your wasted flesh hooked into an armour-covered homunculus.

· Develop deep and lasting relationships that provide profound fulfillment, then destroy them without a moment’s hesitation.

· Train your mind and body so your most powerful emotions – anger, rage, certainty, faith and passion - are as automatic as your breathing apparatus.

-Merchandize your image no matter how small a part you play in the Empire's (and the movie's) Plots.


(*Check out www.vintage-star-wars-toys.com
for moreawesome action figure facts and fun)

· Capitalize on opportunities for achieving financial freedom by controlling vast areas of the galaxy with an iron hand in an leather glove.

· Discover a meaningful and inspirational life purpose, like ending the lives of everyone else. Now there’s a goal worthy of a Sith Lord.


LOSE WEIGHT. QUIT SMOKING. SWEAR OFF BLUE MILK FOREVER!


Unleashing the POWER WITHOUT is about creating breakthroughs, moving beyond fear into terror and corrupting your beliefs. We offer the power to accomplish goals and realize truly evil desire. By turning dreams and nightmares into reality, and modeling the strategies of peak performers to produce a quantum difference in your life, you too can lay waste to worlds.

THE POWER WITHOUT: PERSONAL, ALL-CONSUMING POWER includes nine 8-track DARK SIDE tapes or 10 holo-vids, a DARK SIDE introductory brochure, a Personal Journal with a glossy photo of the Emperor autographed by one of Palpatine’s personal sycophants, an online profile for Imperial approved dating options and a discount certificate offering 100 credits toward the purchase of any multi-day Emperor Palpatine live indoctrination seminar or any ongoing Personal or Professional Coaching Program.


IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS . . . OR NIGHTMARES!


"Thanks to what I learned at Personal, All-Consuming Power, everything in my life has changed. I now have a girlfriend wonderful enough to hide the very existence of my children from me. My wreck of a body has renewed vitality thanks to the life-giving chemicals and electrical shocks provided by my coffin-like, bio-armor; and I've increased my
personal income by like, 23%!"

-Lord Vader



"At Personal, All-Consuming Power I made a complete turnaround in my goals, my style, and my thinking. I came with the support of my family and after turning them in to the Empire for seditious thoughts, my life will never be the same. . . The Emperor and his Dark Side have been an incredible Force in my life."
- The "Grandest Moff Of All", Governor Tarken, Real Estate broker

Now is the time of your greatest triumph...


PERSONAL, ALL-CONSUMING POWER
IS WITHIN YOUR GRASP!*

ORDER "THE POWER WITHOUT" TODAY

EMPEROR TONY PALPATINE’S
7-STEPS TO PERSONAL,
ALL CONSUMING POWER!

*Sponsored by "Pay It Backward With Palpatine Ltd."

END TRANSMISSION

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