About Me

Rob Pincombe is a prolific television writer, recovering comedian and sometime comic artist/storyboard artist who just wasn't satisfied with a single blog. He writes about sci-fi and fandom at rebelalert.com, Canadian comics at comicanuck.com, and shares thoughts and insights on writing at starkravingadventure.com

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Intercept: Star Wars Soap Sudz

Welcome to the rebellion. We have intercepted advance notice of this week's space opera plot lines.

(*Spoiler Alert!)

ALL MY TROOPERSTrooper 551 covers up Trooper 613’s murderous rampage but his laser burns are too accurate to have been left by a Tusken Raider. Sy Snootle’s severed hand forces him to leave the Cantina Band for good.

AS THE DEATH STAR TURNS Sasha is shocked to learn armaments droid Z48 plans to use the Super-Laser to blast out a new lake for Lance’s Naboo resort.

THE BOLD AND THE BOUNTY HUNTERS Commander Tagge fumes over Azul’s “friendly” visit to pleasure droid T-Ashley3000. Jamal finds a holo-clipping which reveals the real story of Biggs ‘miraculous’ survival skills.

CORELLIAN STREETThe force is strong with Tiffany but when Bale refuses to fall for her Jedi mind tricks, she uses her metal bikini to tempt him toward the dark side.

GENERAL HOSPITAL FRIGATELeia learns Luke’s new hand has no fingerprints. Scorpio finds himself in over his head in the trash compactor. Lando’s new love song lands him in hot water with Vader.

GUIDING FORCERidge stuns Brooke with his plan to oust Vader and turn Kaminoan’s Secret into Empire Lingerie, but has Lando heard too much?

ONE LIFE TO CLONE Miranda’s water breaks while she’s trapped in Jabba’s pit. Bib contemplates what to do with Oola’s incriminating holo-disc.

PARSECS OF OUR LIVES A mysterious figure skulks around Bo and Yoda’s semi-detached hut. Evil developer Stefan plots to terraform Degobah.

PORT COMET Chewie confesses his love for Shmi. Blake is gunned down in Wattoo’s shop and replaced in the pod race by his evil clone.

THE YOUNG AND REBELLIOUSAmi Dala begs Ken Orbie not to tell anyone she’s pregnant. On a romantic Bespin weekend, 3PO and R2 consummate their relationship in a heart-shaped oil bath.

ENTOUR-BARRAGE - When manager Evar Orbus is killed, Max Rebo must take the reins to keep the band together. Droopy McCool is determined to make a killing selling Oola's secret Jabba sex tape but no one in the universe wants to see that.

UGLY BINKS - Jar Jar loses the layouts of Vader's latest fashion spread and must create a new holo-shoot from scratch. Hmmm, meesa know a very hot former Queen who might show off the leather bustier she wear to impress Jedi she babysit.


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